In this compelling and inspiring podcast, join Chris and me as we share our journey of overcoming our fear to freedom in our faith in Jesus while conquering a porn addiction. We share our struggles and how living in a community can hope, healing, and strength to break free from the chains of addiction. Through Chris’s story, we explore the link between addiction and fear and how true freedom comes from trusting in God and renewing our minds with the truth of his word. We share practical tips, tools, and strategies that helped us overcome our addiction and live a life of freedom. The vulnerability, honesty, and transparency will inspire and encourage listeners struggling with addiction, fear, or other life challenges. Join us in this powerful podcast as they share their triumphs, lessons learned and faith journeys.
[Legacy with Tim Gothrup]
Equipping a man of God. What does that look like in today’s culture? What boundaries do you have set in place while you are trying to raise your children? Do you have a mindset of equipping your kids with tools, wisdom, and knowledge to handle the unknown? Will you have enough grace, compassion, and foresight to lead your kids through their bad decisions? We live in a culture of relentless pursuit of sex and porn, and it is highly likely that your children will be exposed to porn by age eight. What does that mean for you? What does that mean for you kids? Being exposed to things like porn at an early age makes them susceptible to a lifestyle that revolves around pursuing porn. Possibly an addiction to it. So how do you handle that, a believer? Are you free from addiction to it? Can you lead your family with pure intention in your life? Are you able to talk about this with the community? Do you have any support if you have questions or struggles related to porn for you or your family? We must be intentional with the legacy we are leaving behind. We must be equipping a man of God that is coming up next. What are you doing to reach that goal?
Do you know who you are? What is your identity wrapped up in? Could it be where you spend your time, energy, and money? I know that when I was heavy in my addiction there was a lot of effort put to satisfy that addiction. Now that I have found freedom from that addiction I spend a lot of effort to not satisfy that addiction. I’m spending my time, energy, and money on things that bring me closer in alignment with being Christ-like. Do I get it perfect all the time? Absolutely not! But I know there is more to life than getting the next fix! The is more than me trying to fill what I thought was the greatest need in my life, which was much self. Now, I want to challenge believers in their spiritual walk. I want to challenge their assumptions about how they pursue Christ. We are sleepwalking through life and it will probably take a “rock bottom” experience to wake us up. We have generations at stake, and we can only think about that next fix. That “I gotta get comfortable because this life is uncomfortable, and I can’t take it.” What are we doing? What will it take to get you to live in the uncomfortable, to live in a space where we can’t stay passive and allow our families to take 3rd place in our lives?
Stop Start Continue. The new season of The Hope Over Coffee Podcast is here! I took a few weeks off and got the opportunity to upgrade some of the Hope Over Coffee equipment. In other words, I got a new computer… So with that, I now have the ability to produce a video for the pods. I am super nervous about it. I don’t think it’s any different than putting out audio-only other than everyone can see me! All my insecurities are on display. But I think this is a good way to get the message of hope out there. Maybe that is why it scares me the most. It may actually get seen by people, and I could be misunderstood. But I’m gonna keep pressing on. Fight the good fight and talk about what I know. With that, in this week’s episode, I tell more of my story and try to share my heart with everyone. I know there are guys out there who don’t want to be stuck in the cycle of porn addiction. I want them to know they are not alone. I was there, I have freedom now, and I still live a life where my flesh wants what it wants, and I must deny myself to serve Jesus. Most days are just like any other. Some days it’s harder. The rest are relatively easy in the sense of keeping my boundary of porn. I also want guys to know that in the freedom I found, intimacy has grown exponentially with my wife. You can have that too. We have to put in the work. So let’s stop what we were doing, start doing the work it takes to pursue Christ and continue to the end. Run the race.
Pause. When was the last time you stopped and took stock of what was happening in your life? I just wanted to stop and do a heart check in this episode. I must take a breath and ask, have I been pursuing my kingdom with The Hope Over Coffee Podcast? I have to take a step back and take the bigger picture of Hope Over Coffee and my role in it. I have to navigate the tension between the calling God has called me to and my fleshy pride and selfishness. Now and then, we need to stop and look at the bigger picture. We must seek the wise counsel of those around us and over us. I can get so wrapped up in the number of downloads the podcast can get that and quickly lose sight of what I am here for. To be in complete submission to what Christ has called me to. To be in this season of being an encouragement to men. To let others know there is freedom out there. We are not bound and stuck in the sin that so easily entangles us. We can get out of that ditch we are stuck in, and it takes Christ to do it. I have also been working through this message that God has given me. One that we are holding on to so many things in our hearts. We have hurts, trauma, and hang-ups that get shoved down in our hearts. We then pile the soil on top of it and pack it down tight. Our hearts are getting stiff and compacted tight. We must go to work, dig these things up, and make room for Christ. When we make the room, He can do the work of turning our hearts back to flesh. We can overcome our pains and genuinely know the freedom of following Christ. Pause.
Hope Over Coffee
The one thing you can’t live without! What is it? Is it sex, drugs, alcohol, or porn? Does that make these things your greatest need to survive? What about not doing these things? Is that your greatest need? To be sober with whatever your addiction is? Is your greatest need to stop watching porn, to not have our focus entirely on having sex, or to be the most influential person you know. Is your goal each week just to make it to the weekend so you can get drunk and forget your worries? Our greatest need is Jesus, and sobriety is too small a goal. We must walk by the Spirit and do so in the community of other men! Walking in Spirit is also walking in accountability. I must have intimate relationships that know me, and I know them. This is how we love and are sharpened. We come out of our bondage, addiction, and compulsions through walking by the Spirit. We live a Spirit-controlled self that brings us to bring us closer to Jesus. We didn’t become addicted overnight, it will take time to get out of it. Trust God in the journey of being Christlike.
So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), Ga 5:16.
So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), Ro 8:6.
Who are you protecting? Are you living a life of self-protection? Are you hiding a secret life? Do you hear the lies “If someone really knew me, they wouldn’t love me!” Self-protection builds walls that keep people out and keep you in! God has created us to be known and know. Not only God but others. Will you keep denying God’s intention and purpose for your life by continuing to live a life of self-protection? Have you found a safe community? Do you even know what to look for in a safe person? You need safe people and intimate relationships in your life. God has created us to have these things because we are created in His image. So what are you not talking about, what are you not getting out, and what are you going to do to stop living a life of self-protection? Who are you protecting?
I will reject perverse ideas and stay away from every evil. Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), Ps 101:4.
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), Jas 5:16.
When the ground soaks up the falling rain and bears a good crop for the farmer, it has God’s blessing. 8 But if a field bears thorns and thistles, it is useless. The farmer will soon condemn that field and burn it. 9 Dear friends, even though we are talking this way, we really don’t believe it applies to you. We are confident that you are meant for better things, things that come with salvation. 10 For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers, as you still do. 11 Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. 12 Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance. Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), Heb 6:7–12.
Am I a dooms day prepper?
Do we know why we do the things we do? Do we go to bible study, small groups, and conferences to prepare ourselves for the doom and gloom of life? Am I a dooms day prepper? Are we just trying to feel better by filling your life with good things, all the while holding your sin close to our chest? Deep down you are not ready to let go of the earthly things that bring you comfort. You want the “best” of both worlds. You want to be the “King” of your own life and have all the blessings of the “King of Kings.” You have to find your patterns of sin and eradicate them in your life. How can you let go of your kingship if your pattern keeps putting you back on the throne of your life? You have to surrender it to the Lord. In that surrender, you are going to find your purpose and calling in your life. You are going to figure out what it is costing you to keep chasing these patterns. Do you want to pass on a legacy of sin or righteousness? In this free gift of grace and salvation, we do have a part to play. We have lived a life worthy of our calling and pursue Christ with a full heart! We cannot keep going back to the things of dead life. So what is God telling you, and what are you going to do about it?
19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. 21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. 22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. 23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. 24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. 25 But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. 26 If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. 27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), Jas 1:19–27.
1 John 1:9
9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), 1 Jn 1:9.
16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), Jas 5:16.
We’re in this together episode description
We’re in this together! Are you? I have been wrapped up in the world of pornography addiction most of my life. And in my journey, I have found grace through the example of Jesus my wife has given me. This week Angi and I sit down talk a little about our journey through redemption and what it looks like to live a life of oneness together. We talk about how in my broken state, we were missing out on what it truly meant to live as one in Christ. I don’t think we understood what it really meant to in a state of oneness until I started living a life in a community of men and breaking free from that bondage of porn. I was able to pursue who I am meant to be in Christ and lead her in our marriage. Listen as we talk about these things, and be encouraged that you can find the same things in your marriage.
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We need to remember that we are in a fight! The fight of our lives, our brothers’ lives, and our families lives. And in that fight, it ain’t about how hard you can hit. It’s about what happens after you are knocked down. Do you get up again? Are you preserving? Are you fighting the right fight? We have an enemy, and it’s not your spouse, your job, or even your kids. Join me on this journey of identifying my target and attacking it by surrendering to Jesus.
Verses Mentioned in It ain’t about how hard you hit!:
1 Timothy 6:12
Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of eternal life to which you were called and about which you have made a good confession in the presence of many witnesses Christian Standard Bible (Nashville, TN: Holman Bible Publishers, 2020), 1 Ti 6:12.
Then as I looked over the situation, I called together the nobles and the rest of the people and said to them, “Don’t be afraid of the enemy! Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes!” Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), Ne 4:14.
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), Pr 27:17./
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! 25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. 26 So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. 27 I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified. Tyndale House Publishers, Holy Bible: New Living Translation (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2015), 1 Co 9:24–27.